Stress causes inflammation, which causes pain.I don't think I'm any more stressed out than anybody else in the Western World. But maybe it should be more than just me who's paying attention.
Every teenager knows when they get stressed out, they get a breakout. Duh. But how about diabetes? Arthritis? Asthma? Obesity? Chron's disease? Allergies? Thyroid disease? Cancer?
I've been doing a little reading and here's the quick run-down of my understanding of this process:
Anxiety ---> triggers hypothalmus ---> triggers pituitary gland ---> triggers adrenal gland ---produces cortisol -----> whole body inflammation ---> BAD.
I mean, sounds like inflammation is OK for that quickie fix for a scratch or a twisted ankle, or a cold. It protects us. But long-standing inflammation is bad. Very, very bad.
Pondering my own circumstances, I'm thinking, I've cut back on like 75% of my activities from when I was in my 20's. I don't have stress, right?
But lack of activities doesn't necessarily mean lack of stress. It can help, but I suspect ther'es more going on here than meets the eye.
So last week I spent some time meditating - or as close to it as I ever get to meditation - and observed my body's reactions to various input as I went my merry way over the next week. I worked to notice that "crawling" sensation, that feeling in your gut that you're not quite settled, the leaning forward, shoulders rising, breath quickening, the wrinkling at the front of my brain, the pursed lips.
I noticed a surprising amount of - well, stress.
Where did this come from? Well, surely that will be an interesting study as I continue to observe. It's probably different for everybody. I've noticed I can connect a good deal of it to thoughts of planning the immediate future in detail: OK, I'm going to the subway, then I'll go down the stairs, then I'm getting on the train...I could take the N or the D at Atlantic. Do I have everything I need for work?
Of course the irritating irony is that having chronic illness begets stress. I know I never used to be such an obsessive planner. But now I'm totally stressed about where I'm going to find a bathroom, have I packed too much weight for my finicky back (but do I carry sufficient supplies in case something goes wrong, like my inhaler in case of asthma attack, an extra tank top for the sweats and ginger candy for nausea?) Will I have enough energy to complete my tasks for the day? Have I made satisfactory progress on my personal goals this week?
It's been a great exercise to observe these thoughts and my body's reaction, then gently remind myself to fall back into "totally OK" mode.
FYI I've noticed that Telling myself to relax doesn't work. My body flips a virtual finger right back at me.
I seek a vehicle for manipulation against my more basic self.
So I'll tell a telling tale, which I've been telling myself this week. I met a circus performer once who had spent much of his life making a living as a clown in a children's hospital. He told me how he used to get kids to take their medicine. He'd snatch the abhorred medicine up and prance around the room, saying things like, "Mmmmm, I wish I could have this...looks yummy! I am feeling a little peckish, right now. In fact I think I WILL take it. After all nobody will miss it. I..."
And pretty soon the child would ask for it back, grab it, and take it with satisfaction. What a thing, to be a clown.
Like a child , I believe the body will leap at the chance to save itself once showed its options. "You can continue to feel like this, and it will get worse, or you can have...oh, lookie that! Yum! The OK , cool place! Ahhhh!"
I think most of us don't see the choice, most of the time.
