Tuesday, September 4, 2012

You Don't Have To Beleive What You Think

I’m not going to pretend that on some level I’m not deeply, deeply bitter about not feeling well. It would be inhuman to not really hate it. But I walked into a bathroom at my acupuncturist’s office in Phoenicia a few years ago, and on a piece of paper, attached to the mirror there was a piece of paper which read, “You don’t have to believe what you think.” It blew me over like a sandstorm. Just because I feel I was robbed, and know I was robbed, doesn’t mean I have to believe I was robbed. Anyone who’s seen basic parenting is aware of this contrast: Say you’re on a plane that’s clearly having mechanical troubles and a child is sitting next to you. Any wise parent doesn’t shout, “We’re all gonna die!” at the child. That would very likely result in an out-of-control little girl of boy, screaming, flailing, making the situation much, much worse. A wise adult talks to the child patiently, puts an optimistic face on the situation, maybe even lies to them a little. The result is a calm child who understands the situation, maybe even better than we do, on some level. What I’m saying is each of us has an inner child who wants nothing but to pound and scream at the unfairness of it all. But you don’t have to buy into the drama. You don’t have to think this way every minute of the day. You don’t have to live your life as though you believe this is the only truth, that you’ve been robbed, it’s all unfair and everybody hates you. Even if that’s what you think. It’s only one facet of your thinking. You are also wiser than that, and there is a higher level of thinking and consciousness you can tap into, to sooth, negotiate with, and train the inner child who wails. Of course every parent loses it once in a while – that’s only human. Every now and then I think it’s healthy to give vent to those thoughts and feelings. But I do my best to let them be just that – thoughts and feelings – and not let them overwhelm the forward motion and general sense of belonging to my life.

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